I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
