Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
