Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
How's work?
Spinning.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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