the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I wear drunk well.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
