bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize