Christians are straight up FREAKS
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
