my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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