it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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