i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
My penis needs a shock collar
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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