This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
