May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
