At least make sure they are 18
Why
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
