Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
