So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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