I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
