You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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