Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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