Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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