the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
