another moral hangover. fuck.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
