Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
