if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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