Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
