Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
