she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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