new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
