Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
