Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
