Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
