is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
