Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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