I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Another day, another engagement, another cat
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
