The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
