brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Sober January is a disaster.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize