My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
