yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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