Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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