After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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