I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
