Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
