Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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