You were right. It hurts to walk today.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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