why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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