btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
