Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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