the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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