im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
