..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
