This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Every concussion has its silver lining
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
