He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
