420 ftw
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
