You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
