last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
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Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
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Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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