i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
