I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
