In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
