I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize