And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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